How Do I Know If I Am Confident?

Confidence. We all want it, but what is it?

At The Confidence Triangle, we think about confidence as having self-trust and being comfortable in your own skin. It isn’t always big and loud with giant payoffs and big-time glamor. Sometimes confidence is simply showing up.

Being confident doesn’t mean you always know what you are doing or that you are impervious to self-doubt. It doesn’t mean you always feel strong or that you are never afraid. Confidence doesn’t mean you aren’t vulnerable or you don’t fear failure or judgment. Being confident doesn’t mean you are bulletproof.

Being confident is about talking to yourself in a way that allows for imperfection. Being confident means you know you’ll bounce back when you have messed up or failed. Being compassionate to yourself gives you the ability to forgive yourself and move forward. When you are confident, you don’t need to control yourself or others. You employ kindness instead of shame.

Sometimes we mistake loud, aggressive, boisterous bulldozing behavior as confidence. Being unkind, being aggressive, or being the loudest in the room doesn’t make you confident. Standing up for yourself by tearing someone apart isn’t indicative of confidence. Some of the most confident people are the quietest in the room. They are accepting of others’…